


Grieving

by skybraid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Gen, Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 08:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12907842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybraid/pseuds/skybraid
Summary: Remus watches Sirius and knows he cannot help him.





	Grieving

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Harry Potter series of books, their author J.K. Rowling, or the Warner Bros. films based upon them. This is a work of fiction inspired by a work of fiction.

Remus doesn't know how to help Sirius.

  
Remus has had years to process and accept and move past the deaths of James and Lily, but Sirius didn't have that luxury.

  
For Sirius, every day, every moment, is like it just happened.

  
Like it literally just happened.

  
Remus loved the Potters deeply, and he will always carry the pain of their loss within his heart. He mourns them even now, but it does not stop him from doing what needs to be done. There is still a war to fight, and he will serve the cause in any way he can.

  
But while Remus had work and study and various other responsibilities to occupy his time, Sirius had nothing but time. Time for grief and rage.

  
Twelve years, to claw himself bloody and weep for the friends he will never see again, twelve years to scream his throat raw and throw himself against the walls of his cell because anything hurt less than the knowledge that James and Lily were dead.

  
Remus shudders when he thinks of what Sirius will do to Peter, if he ever finds him.

  
Few can claim to know exactly what James and Lily Potter meant to Sirius Black, or appreciate the magnitude of their loss. Remus can comprehend the depth of Sirius's pain better than most, but he cannot ease it. There is no comfort he can offer.

  
James and Lily were irreplaceable. They were necessary, to Sirius. A vital part of himself.

  
And Harry is a joy, a gift. A beacon of light in a world increasingly shrouded by darkness. While Sirius is with him, the eternal cloud of grief dissipates just a little, just barely enough that Remus thinks his friend might be okay, one day.

  
Eventually, however, Harry has to leave. Sirius's status as a convict means they can never be a proper family, and their time together is always far too short. It takes no time at all for Sirius to slip back into depression, once Harry is gone.

  
Remus watches Sirius watching Harry leave. He wishes he could reach out, place a hand on his friend's shoulder and project all the love and compassion he feels into him. He wishes he could hold Sirius close and tell him that he's not alone, that Remus is there for him, that he will always be there for him.

  
He knows it wouldn't help. Nothing will. Even if the war is won, a part of Sirius Black died with James and Lily Potter. He will never be whole again. He will never stop grieving for them, never stop weeping for them. Every day without them is misery. It's horrific to think that he may still live years, even decades, without them. Remus cannot bear to think of what will be left of his friend after decades of this.

  
Remus watches Sirius, and grieves.

****

THE END


End file.
